Dear Buddha, I’d Like A Pony And A Plastic Rocket

Ever just toss and turn? Can’t get comfy enough to go to sleep? Then when you do manage to fall asleep, your dreams are so active that you can’t actually tell if you’re just thinking while you sleep or having a bad tuna dream. ARRG! So now I am up drinking green tea. I’ve already cleaned out the fire place and got a fresh pyramid of flames going; which are now slowly warming up the living room. Mmmmm… So fire + warm green tea = good so far. Tormented the cats *check* Parakeets fed *check* Cats tormented more *check* Looked for more jobs *check* Put together semi-lucid thoughts for blog = I’m working on it!

So, Dear Buddha, I’d like a pony and a plastic rocket. If you’re any kind of a Firefly/Serenity fan, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t heard of Firefly or the movie Serenity, then y’all need to get out from under your rock and find the series and the movie. Watch the Firefly series first though, it’s not necessary in the big scheme of things, but it helps make the movie that much more enjoyable. BTW, for friends and family, we usually have viewing privileges for a small fee of pop corn and chocolate tolls. The cats are just a perk for your viewing pleasure! This time of year also includes a warm glowing fireplace, but I’m sure we’ll put you to work for firewood chopping either in the garage or out on the patio. Complete your viewing marathon with tasty tea or coffee bevies! There many flavors and varieties to choose from. I could even be bribed to make some Turkish Coffee as well, but that involves buying me dinner or pie from Julie’s Ranch House.

So no new job prospects yet. Julie is allowing me to come back to work for the restaurant, but not sure how fast that will help out or not. I can file for unemployment starting the 30th this month. Not sure how that will help either. The formula for figuring out how much money you get each week is not conducive to paying the bills! It’s something like the average of the highest paid quarter of the previous 12 months. Hmmm, if you mainly had unemployment bennies as your main income the first 6 months of the year, it’s not looking like you’ll get to maintain the same benefit amount the following year. Slowly dwindling down your income to the minimum benefit of a whole whopping $50 a week! Arrg!

So sometime after the first of the year, I get to do some skills testing for Subaru. I’ve made it to the second phase so far, have to complete the second phase, but that’s scheduled for the 3rd of January. Yippy! After that, I’m sure there’s going to be more fun to be had. It’s not a job I really care to have in the long run, but a short term fix would be most helpful to me. Then again, I have a bachelor’s degree. I would hope that counts for something in a place like that. I can even type; I can be a helpful office monkey. Office work = a job I wouldn’t mind having. I’m a trainable monkey as far as they’re concerned; just like the 10,000 + other applicants out there hoping to get into Subaru. Joyeeeeeeeeee!

Meanwhile, I continue to work on hourly stuff on the side in order to make ends meet. I have a small amount of leeway with it, but there’s not much of a margin for screwing around or the bills just don’t get paid and then I’m not a happy camper and then I’m cranky and then poor Adam has to deal with the crankiness and the bitchiness. I suppose there is the added benefit of occasional cuddles and dinner cooked when he gets home from work, but even that gets old when I’m cranky and bitchy and grumbly.

Time to go “work” now, make more tea, then work. NEED MORE CAFFEINE! =)

Tammolly ~In a funk

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin...

Christmas Kryptonite NO FRIGGEN $$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!

So here's something that just popped into my head. (Thank you Katiefucious. I credit her with this bit of thinking today.) I have managed to avoid the Christmas humdrum and feeling like an unemployed Grinch. Watched something on the science channel while in the kitchen making pop tarts... and they said that an estimate of the number of families in the world, and giving Santa 48 hrs to complete his task (because he’s smart and goes against the rotation of the earth er. . .I think. . .) It left Santa something like 1/5000th of a second to stay at each house, and he would be traveling ridiculously fast, like Mach 650. Then some scientist got on and started talking about singularity bubbles around Santa. EH?! So I wrote some sort of poem…. Have fun! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Or some canned response to whatever heck you celebrate.

Happy masks
Carved upon the holiday faces
How did Santa get from here to there?
Weren’t we just at that other mall?
Is he a magical man?
Is he related to Superman?
SUPERMAN!
Urine soaked diapers and snot nosed screamers
Kryptonite for even the most stout of schleps in a red fat suit
Prezzies under the yuletide bush
Dysfunctional Xmas pasts soon forgotten
Poor grandma and that silly reindeer
Just like gifts of ugly jumpers and knickers
There’s no place like home


Tammolly ~ Waiting the spiff times of employment to kick in damnit.

(NO IDEA WHY BLOGGER INSISTS ON DOUBLE SPACING MY SIGNATURE)

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom

And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel

I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin...

Hate Being Sick

Friday!!!! 12-8 This is a multi-part blog. Ugh, the flu sucks ass. Getting over the flu for the most part, then having Niagara Falls set up shop in your sinuses blows. Literally, I think I’ve managed to kill a small evergreen forrest’s worth of Kleenex this morning alone. Poor trees! *sniffle* *hack* *cough* This is the first day I’ve felt much better physically though. Yeah, the first two days were mainly in bed unconscious, buried under blankets, and sipping from a water bottle with a heating pad on my feet to keep the icicle feeling away. *ugh* This of course was after the barf fest that began initially. Could have been worse, throw up once, one big ten minute bout, then done. It could have been 2-4 days worth of that, plus the rest of the aforementioned misery. I remember getting flu in middle school, it happened right at spring break that year. I spent my whole week eating honey tea and saltines on the couch. I didn’t even watch TV, I just laid there praying for a coma because maybe the vomiting would stop so I could sleep. I lost 15 pounds that week!

Subliminal messages were in my head for those initial two days me thinks. I partly slept with the television on just for the sake of having noise and incase I wanted to stare at the glowing television hovering on the wall while I rolled over in achy agony. Once I woke up, breaking the fever and chills. I mumbled to Adam that I wanted pizza. Some time later, he asked me several times what kind I wanted, felt like an hour had gone by before I mumbled pepperoni…. Pan…. Pepperoni Pan Pizza…. Pizza Hut. Deliver. Zonk…. The next thing I know, VOILA, pizza arrives and I snarf down three pieces of pizza. I realized I hadn’t eaten in nearly two days. It tasted like crap of course, taste buds were fried from fever induced coma. So I remembered those days when I was a kid everything tasted like shit when you were sick. OH! And the medicine tasted worst then.

Saturday! 12-10 Woke up sounding like a squeak toy, creeping gunge in the throat and lungs. Hack-hack-hack-hack as though a horse has taken residence in there and won’t come out. JOY. Top that off, I coughed all night, didn’t sleep, got out of bed around 04:30 to at least let Adam sleep hack free for a few hours. Made chamomile tea with honey. Ate teaspoons of honey. Throat felt better, went to bed for about four hours. Got up, couldn’t talk, laid back down ‘til 4 pm. Got up, *ugh*, drank more tea, then managed to get out long enough to attend Christmas Court and come home and crash again. Yippee! My week in a nutshell.

MONDAY! That would be today. Feeling like the creeping gunge attack is trying to go away. I am not sure how many more Halls I can stand in my mouth. Such is the life of a poor health insurance-less schlep. Now I can go back to making some cash to pay the bills. Still waiting on friggen Purdue and anything else to come up and give me a break. Here’s to 2007 being a luckier year!

Tammolly ~Feeling a little better this week

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin...

POST TURKEY DAY SURVIVAL

Managed to survive a four day weekend with family and significant other. It was all good. Went to the in-laws…. Well, as close to in-laws as they’ll get at this point. *GIGGLE* Spent Thursday there, had a huge dinner. Somehow the giant pot of cauliflower and broccoli was overlooked. It was pretty easy to do, a table full of food, more than anyone would be able to eat in one sitting or two or three, could possibly have run out by number four. Heck, there were nine people at the table and there was plenty left over and that did not include the dessert table. Adam’s Aunt began calling me Aunt Tammy for the sake of simplicity or something. Adam’s brother has a daughter and she looks at me like an Aunt I guess. She’s a good kid, smart, entertaining, and well behaved for the most part. I cannot complain about her at all.

Friday consisted of going to Dad’s where I got the latest of the electronic toys he has chosen to get rid of and not sell on e-bay. I guess he figures I have an appreciation for such things. Since I don’t have children that won’t tear the shit up that he gives me, I must be a safe bet on taking care of said toys that he’s giving away. Dad and the sister are still not talking to each other. Dad still hates sister’s third husband. Dad is stubborn and does not agree with sister’s choices. Dad needs to get over it and go see his grandchildren. Dad is not going to live forever and Dad should realize that. Seeing Dad this past Friday kinda shocked me a little. He’s gotten gray hair, he’s looking older now, and he’s looking his age rather than 10-15 years younger than he really is. I find that disturbing, yet it’s a part of life no one can escape.

Heard from Mom over the weekend. We talked for a bit and planned to see each other for Christmas at the sister’s house. I look forward to seeing her. I am sure she’ll have a few cans of Jelly Belly Beans for Adam and me. I guess because she’s found something cheap that she knows we both like, she buys them for us and mails them off to us whenever she gets the chance. Never mind the fact that we hit Meijer for about 5 pounds of our own mixes at a time. Mom is Mom and Mom likes giving.

Meanwhile, two dinners worth of leftovers sorta remain in the fridge at the moment. Crock Pot full of 15 Bean mix and soon to be ham bones and meat are now slow cooking on the counter top. Perhaps this will put the last of leftovers to rest or wind up pitched in the garbage. Mmmm Beans!

The rest of the weekend consisted of Adam and me, snuggles here and there, a movie, some more snuggles, dirty books at Borders, snuggles, cleaning, shopping, working on stuff around the house, some snuggles, reading, and sleep. Did I mention snuggles? Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that. Snuggles are good. So that’s the post Turkey Day revel. Hope you had a nice Holiday!!!

Tammolly ~Still waiting on Purdue to call while seeking out new employment.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin...

Grrrrrrr.... Stupid People

Something I should have posted almost two weeks ago. I was tempted to just hit send after a complete tirade of I hate this fucking office, they all suck. I come in this morning, nothing much to do as usual with almost every single office I have worked in at Jolly Ol’ Purdue, where the University President is the second highest paid schmuck in the university system nationwide. I make $9.50 an hour, he makes $880,950 a year. A YEAR! WTF?! I guess after paying that bastard all the money, they could only afford $9.50 an hour. Nice! Isn’t it?

Anyhoo, this morning, I am coming in ON TIME because no one else in this office seems to know what their schedule is nor show much regard for what they have posted for student convenience. It’s always a craps shoot finding one of the two bosses in this office at any given time. I don’t like turning students away, dealing with irritated people because the prof isn’t there to talk to like the office hours said they would be. Lack of planning on anyone’s part does not constitute an emergency on my part. Big boss comes in, asks me if I have anything to do. Nope, that was yesterday. This morning, it was the same thing. She’s hard to read, doesn’t smile much, doesn’t express much, just is kinda there looking at you. I notice she makes some people nervous because she is like that.

I have recently adopted actually taking breaks away from my desk because I have found knitting to be an interest and I am not allowed to do it at my desk unless the office door is closed, like at lunch time… where I sit at my desk because there’s not break room in this building. It seems to be a theme for Purdue. No established break rooms, a sometimes break room in some buildings that can be yanked out from under your feet because someone decided to schedule a lunch meeting in that room. I especially liked getting bumped for two bible thumpers that schedule the room for two and expect you to be feel comfortable sitting in on it while you eat the food you didn’t say grace for. NOT!

Back to this morning, lots of tangents here. 9:30-ish rolls around, maybe it was closer to 10, or whenever boss number 2 decides to stroll on in. She just tells me, hey, we don’t have anything else for you to do, so go home after lunch. Don’t forget to turn in your keys. Oh and finish this before you go to lunch, I mean go home and don’t get paid indefinitely until you get places in another job somewhere else on campus. EH?! Thanks for the fucking warning you stupid ass biatch! Temp positions don’t grow on trees and definitely not this time of year when the semester is half over and winding down for any kind of need for a temp to fill in for a few weeks. SHIT! Bills to pay, stuff to do, stuff I coulda put off had I known I was gonna get the shaft. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Grrrrrrrr

SO there you have it, my rant for the day. I am not a happy camper. Time to go home for “lunch” now.

Tammolly ~Steaming mad

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin...

The Mice Are Playing

So the cats are away and the mice are playing chatty-chat-chat in the office. Quandary, should I even feel bad about that when I have nothing else to do? Office drama, here you go folks. Just what you’ve been panting for! The adjacent office to us has some sort of gourmet coffee fetish- I mean club going on. It is 50 cents a cup or $8 a month. Fine, .50 is a bit pricey if you’re serving it in Dixie cups. Now my big honkin’ mug that could wire up the comatose would be worth the .50! I’d also clear out half a pot with it, or darn close to it. Anyhoo, I choose not socialize over the coffee, I won’t be here long enough to make it worth the effort of getting to know everyone and be buddy-buddy. Believe it or not, I don’t always play well with others socially. I tend to take it personally if someone doesn’t just accept me in right away and want to hear my wonderful observations and witty commentary on life. Oh well, it’s a military brat mentality, I am not gonna be here long enough to care, because I will be leaving here anyway. Etc etc etc…

Back to the coffee queens and their monopoly on the coffee pot. I got accused of pilfering coffee because I brought in my own nummy-num-num gourmet flavored coffee. It smelled like pumpkin and Irish crème. Apparently they had their own Irish crème blend too. Therefore I must have swiped a mug or two of coffee. ARRRG! DUDE! Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW ME!

Basically they can keep their coffee and their false smiles and kiss me arse if they want to think I am a coffee bandit, got no time for anyone like that. Whether it’s a pirates life for me or not, coffee burglar I am not! Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself. Perhaps that is the point of me ramblin’s today. Arrrrr…

I have an engineering friend who thinks if you smoke, you’re stupid; therefore all of your decisions are flawed based on that initial assessment. Consequently you can’t build a building or bridge or machine, because you’re stupid. Eh? This of course has nothing to do with the coffee incident, but thought I’d toss that in there as food for thought.

Enjoy!

Tammolly ~ Who wants to go frolic in the ginko tree leaves outside. It's uber cool...

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin...

Tangential Fun

I waffle on this one periodically. To pursue or not to pursue that which pays more money in order to not feel so much like a leech on the boyfriend or stick with what I've got going on now at Purdue until a regular position with bennies opens up? Yes, I still want to pursue my MSW degree. I want to continue on with that whole schooling idea; yet there are times when I feel like that's not doable or realistic. How much strain on a relationship is worth the possibility of causing it to implode by pursuing an academic goal? Sure, in the long run, it will pay more money. In the short run, it's going to be tons of stress and hard work. I hate feeling like I am not doing enough help out in the household. I'm not making what I used to. If I was, I could pay for stuff like utilities and groceries! ARRG! I am sure it will come to me, hopefully not too late in the game I guess. A little over a year with the schnookums now and I am still hopeful we're going to be together a long time to come; unless of course I drive him insane first.

Anyhoo, I still hate the Mac. It does not have features that work the way I am accustomed to working. MS WORD on the Mac is not the same as MS WORD on a PC. The Mac keyboard feels goofy and works kinda goofy. The key marked CTRL does not function as a CTRL key when it comes to using CRTL commands I would normally use on the PC. For instance, CRTL C does not COPY, it places a "C" on the text area instead of COPYING! ARRG! I have to hit the little key with an apple and funky squiggly box symbol in order for it to do what I want it to do. ALT TAB, what's that?! The Mac just sits there like it's getting an attitude, "You want me to do something lady?" "YES!" Again with the little key with an apple and funky squiggly box symbol + TAB to switch between windows. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Surprisingly, the new version of Windows (Vista) reminds me of the Mac OS X appearance. I wonder if that was on purpose? Was it on purpose?! :) That would be a hoot if was intended to mimic Mac OS X. I looked at the prices of this system too, crapola! It's more than double what you would pay for a PC decently loaded with a flat screen monitor. Perhaps if the MS Programs I use on a PC were on the Mac, it would be less of a pain to have to use.

Rain, can we just get the rain over with for a few weeks, get some sunshine and pleasant weather too? That way we can still fence outside on the weekends. It would make several people happy for a few weeks at least. Damn, I want a nap. Can I get a nap?! NO! I still have about 2 hours left in the office. Here's another tangent, no lunch room in the building. This means I sit at my desk all day long. If I don't leave the office to eat, I have to get up and answer the door for worker students and answer the damn phone too. Grrrrr.

Song of the day, I need to start that up. Heart and Soul by T'Pau. Other songs this week, one hit wonders of the 80's. Stay tuned for future one hit wonders! 99 Red Balloons by Nena! Owner of a Lonely Heart by Yes. Putin' On The Ritz by Taco. *grin* Yeah, I enjoy the 80's channel on yahoo music. That and I like the big band channel; it's just fun to listen to big band music. There's something classy about big band music. Hard to explain I guess.

Now that you think I've come completely unhinged, it's time for me to stop rambling and go find something else to do for the last two hours of my day. I could wall paper the cork board with rainbow post-it notes and use the magnetic words on the cabinets to make sentences like "dream in pictures often" I have no idea what else I can come up with besides watch the rain fall and enjoy the fact it's warm and dry in here. Mmmm… Nap…I still need a nap. ENJOY YOUR LIFE!

T~ Continuing to make you wonder what I am on these days. ;)

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin...

Macs Suck ASS!!

So I am using the office lap top that students use because it’s an honest to God real PC! Yes, it’s a dinosaur of a lap top being five years old, no updates to speak of and it’s a community tinker toy unless I am sitting at the desk cursing the retarded Mac. I hate Macs! Just how the fucking hell do you right click a button mouse? Did I mention that the keyboard is institution white and shows all kinds of icky nasty things that I don’t want to know about? Meanwhile, there are no Microsoft products on the Mac. No Word, no Works, not even Excel. It won’t talk to the lap top and the lap top doesn’t care either way. I have to use this beast to check my Outlook mail because the Purdue system is not equipped to accommodate a Retarded Mac User. Oh yeah, my Gmail is also kinda not working/supported by Mac. As in, my quick contacts on Gmail won’t come up so I cannot chat with Adam. Adam so very kindly pointed out that Mozilla and FireFox will allow for the feature to work. YAY! wOOt! JOY! I still don’t like the Mac.

This morning, I find that I cannot find the tower that a PC would have. I am digging around like a mole on the floor looking to see where some genius placed the tower out of reach so I can’t access stuff like a disc drive. It turns out that Mac has some kind of ALL IN ONE SYSTEM. The monitor is so huge you could probably see it from orbit. The power button is on the back of this monitor and does not shut down like a PC if you hold the button down for a hard shut down. OY-VEY! Our resident computer geek says he has no idea how a Mac works; a source of contention since I have to be stuck here with this dinosaur lap top and Mac for a tentative 4-6 weeks. I saw the advert for this job listed on the employment site. I think I will pass on that one. Ugh

Anyhoo, I could go on and on and on and on about what I don’t like about Macs, but so far, I have stuck to the main points, because at the moment, I am supposedly working on a project database that won’t allow me access because none of the computers geeks have bothered to set me properly for accessing important things like a friggen shared drive! I am amazed with the disparity between offices on this campus. There’s an OLD Dell in the back room, with a funky Gateway keyboard that looks like it should have been put out to pasture, not to mention the monitor and tower looks as though they’ve been in a flood or stained in nicotine. It’s very sad here. Printers that don’t work, copiers that break down every time you use them, and a phone system that drops calls or won’t let you transfer. I still have not been able to check the voicemail. I hope there’s nothing important on there. It’s really kinda messed up and I don’t fault the faculty up to a small point. I could, but if it does what they need it to, why fix it? ARRG!

Here’s to a better time while I learn the Mac. Crimany!

T~ Fussing and Grumping.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Two Weddings & A Funeral

It was a bit of a joke last night that in our family, things happen in threes. For instance, when grandma died, less than three weeks later, Great Auntie Aggie died, and on the day we buried Auntie A, Uncle Billy Lynn died. It was a wild rollercoaster ride for the family. I think I have mentioned this before. So when Great Uncle Jack died, it was a moment for great pause and concern. Then my sister Tina gets the bright idea to say, “No, it’s two weddings and a funeral. It all evens out.” I know of one wedding that I can think of and one funeral, but hey, I’ll take that over three funerals.

As per usual would have it, the cousins all get together at funerals and we talk of how we really should stop getting together like this. We talk of family reunions and keeping it touch, but it never seems to happen. I see cousins now on my dad’s side of the family which I used to play with when I was a child. We had birthday parties and got together more often then than we ever do now. It’s kinda sad that someone has to die in order for us to get together again.

Aunt Betty was the one that set me to tears though. I was ok until the ancient color guard that looked as though they predated WWI in most respects, they came and presented arms. It was a tear jerker of a moment. Reminded me of a close friend’s funeral where they not only played Taps, they had the 21 Gun Salute. You don’t think something like that could bother you so much, especially when you see it or hear it on the media so much. When you’re the one standing there, hearing the guns and Taps and watching a friend or family member’s flag being folded up and presented, you feel little crack of the rifles in the air, every eerie little note of that bugle playing. Granted, we were in a funeral home, so no guns cracking the air, but Taps was just too much. It reminds you of every hard moment of the last experience. So my cousins and I sat there sniffling and crying in the back of the room, but back to Aunt Betty. She’s been one of those people in my family that inspires a lack of excuses and gets your ass motivated.

Sis and I, aka Tina, talked with Aunt Betty at some point or another and got the same result. “You girls have got to stick together.” She was referring to the very same thing I mentioned above, we all gotta stop getting together like this and get together for a family reunion. Basically do what we used to do when we were kids. I was ok talking with her about this until she did that look that only Aunt B can do and said, “You gotta promise me that if something happens to me, that you girls will do that.” I’m sitting here getting all teary eyed again just thinking about it. I totally agree. I suppose it is up to me to get that list of family members together and get it all going at some point.

To top all of this excitement, I get a call from my mom in Alabama to say that my cousin Dennis is heading to the hospital with chest pains and she’s really upset. To top it off she mentions that a few weeks ago, my youngest cousin was beaten to a pulp at the truck stop near my hometown. Apparently Dougie stood up for his buddy’s wife because these three hooligans were giving her shit at the restaurant portion of the truck stop. What the fuck is this world coming to these days? Sheesh.

Last but not least, my evening observations. My family will never get a break; I don’t think we’re meant to have any kind of extended good fortune without some kind of repercussions or bad karma catching up for some past deed that I have no idea what the family did. It’s kinda weird how it happens. I suppose we just can’t enjoy the good without the bad rearing its ugly head up more often than not. Stranger things have happened me thinks. I am sure there are other people out that there that feel the same way at times. Oh well, time to get back to work.

T~ Just kinda hangin’ out today.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Yadda-yadda-yadda

Ever been frustrated when you're trying to contact someone in a big office? I mean, take the office that I currently work in, there are several deans and supporting grad students. That is just this office and there are many many more like it on this campus. I had a woman call me just before the lunch hour looking for anyone and everyone. Not in a kind way, not even in a mannerly way, just rude, abrupt, and absolutely pissy because she could not get into contact with anyone. Mind you, there is no voicemail in this office. I am the lucky one stuck with taking down messages and ensuring they reach the correct people in a timely manner. Not a big deal, unless you have 3-7 people waiting in line for their forms to be signed and some PMSing bitch on the phone taking it out on you because she's feeling neglected by the BIG institution of bureaucracy and edumacative peeps, all the while your office mate is at home with "stomach flu" and you're about ready to climb up a wall with a banana and throw poop at everyone. Monkeys have it good and yeah, I love bitchy people that feel that you owe them the world when all you can tell them is that the person they are looking for is not available or in a meeting and hey, can I take a message for you? Otherwise bugger off and bitch at someone who gives a flying rat's ass about whether or not you feel you're having a bad day for waiting until the last minute to turn in something vital to your education or organization. Otherwise, not my problem and get off your fuckin' cell phone and drive like less of an idiot. ARRRRRRRG! Deep blue oceans- deep blue oceans- deep blue oceans- deep blue oceans. Screw it! I start at a new office on Monday and boy this ought to be interesting.

Still here? WOW! Anyhoo, yeah that was my day yesterday. Now today is wake and family fun with funeral biz. I can at least say that today is a somewhat happier note though. One year ago I got the first kiss from my schnookums. Yes, Adam and I kissed the first time on my porch under a blue light or was it a green light? I don’t remember what color the light was, but hey, it was a nice kiss. *BIG GRINS* Happy Kiss-aversary! Makes all those jaded people out there want to puke I am sure. Gotta go now. CIAO!

Tammolly ~Feelin’ like life could be far worse today.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

That Weird Sinking Feeling

So I was psyched about having an interview this morning at DFC. It was the first time I got a call out of the blue that gave me a good feeling about the upcoming interview. YAY! Even did a ton of resume prep, paperwork prep, and an all around concentrated prep for this interview itself. So now I feel like I have bombed it miserably. Two essay type forms to fill out, not a huge deal, I have made treatment plans and assessments before. Buzzzzzzzzz. Eh? I am in the front lobby trying to fill this stuff out and I’ve got a Jerry Springer show going on in the room. I was putting forth my best effort to ignore this and continue on with the task at hand. So then, in the back of my mind, I am thinking to myself, “What if this is a test and I am supposed to intervene somehow?” I stayed out of it, because I somehow doubt a government agency would go through those kinds of lengths to ensure hiring a worthy employee. Right? I sure as hell hope so.

With that thought, I wonder if we as human beings, perhaps animals at our most basic levels, if we actually breed our future. That mother and daughter on Medicaid and food stamps, did she breed her daughter right into the system? Who’s paying for all this shit? ME! YOU! Yes YOU! Any hard working tax paying American is pumping funds into this Jerry Springer culture that I was stuck watching all too uncomfortably mind you. It’s sad that I am thinking this way today. I’m usually not feeling negative towards social benefits that are meant to help people. Crimany!

Perhaps I am feeling grumpy from the fact I’ve got a dying relative in the hospital. I really don’t want to contemplate a string of old relatives pushing up daisies. Shit happens in threes in my family, so I don’t want to think about who number two or three is going to be this year. Last time someone died in the family, it was grandma, then Auntie Aggie, and then Uncle Bill. The killer part of that deal was the day we buried Auntie A, Uncle B died. It was a messed up time for the family. Crap! I don’t want to think about this. :(

Oh well, I gotta get back to work here. Just want to update those who actually read this blog. :) Funny though, no one ever signs it or comments on it except in a chat here and there. Harumph.


Tammolly ~ Wishing for that sinking feeling to go away today.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Silver Linings Or Some Junk

wOOt! Interview on Monday-MONday-MONDAY! -turning off announcer voice now- So I am wondering if this is one of those silver linings people keep telling me about, an interview on Monday. I am told they exist out there somewhere. It’s like X-Files, the truth is out there, or some happy arse junk or another. I have nearly given up on finding another job in the social work field. I am essentially musing to myself at the moment, with the words, “Interview on Monday. BENEFITS! BENNIES! WHEEEEE Heeeeeeeeeeee! Yahoo!” Oh to make that much money again would be nice too. To be able to buy stuff and entertain the novel concept of paying bills in the household. Yah know, cable, phone, electric, water, garbage etc etc etc. I am sure the Adam would appreciate it too. Right now, I can pay my minimum bills, but that’s really not any fun at all. In fact, I hate it, but hey, my stuff is being taken care of for the time being. YAY to that!

Meanwhile, I am trying not to get my hopes up. This year I’ve had entirely too many disappointments with job searching in the past 10+ months. I really do hate to be disappointed. Although it’s fun to fantasize about the possibilities of financial freedoms, there’s that whole what if that sucks to think about if I do get the job. I hadn’t planned on the what-ifs with the last job and it didn’t end well in my eyes. One of the few pluses (silver lining) was the fact that Adam took me in like a little stray cat and a happy cat is me. MEOW! Purrrrrrrrrrr.

Fun nonsense in the office has been brewing. Only a minor source of contention, but it was bound to happen at some point. Right? Right! We're having the battle of the scented products in the office. We're not supposed to wear perfume or scented products. I would normally not complain about it, but the office mate to my immediate right wears stuff that reeks bad... I can now empathize with the Adam and his overly sensitive snout. HR lady can’t really handle flowers or scents and most perfumes. This all comes up due to the fact that one of the undergrads brings in a heaping bouquet of flowers comprised of lilies, roses and a number of other flowers that I can’t name. Essentially, it breaks down to when combined in such an enclosed area; they smell overwhelmingly like a funeral parlor.

Anyhoo, let’s get back to the fact that HR lady can’t take the flower scents and perfumes that give her instant migraines. She comments that the flowers smell strong on Friday. I agree that they’ve been a slightly nauseating thing for me as well. So we get on the subject on how we’re not supposed to have scented products on while working in this office due to student allergies and stuff. -SIGH- Ok, I can deal with that. I CANNOT deal with the office mate who douses herself in body splash, scented lotion, orange Listerine mouth spray, and other things scented in order to ATTEMPT to cover up the fact she just came back from a smoke break. So now it’s the body splash, scented lotion, orange Listerine mouth spray scented ashtray. It could be ASSTRAY for all I care; it just smells funky periodically throughout the day with her and the competing flower vase. (This coming from a former smoker mind you) Ugh. HR lady has now brought this up to the office mate and she’s not taking it well. Picking at anything I do, I have unscented hand lotion; she immediately fussed at me about it, saying how it better not be scented blah-blah-blah. Whateva woman! Leave me be!

Thus begins the office drama. I figured it had to happen sooner or later. The office mate is a temp like me, but she’s a spazoid if you ask me. Overly sensitive, drinks too many energy drinks, has a lot of pointless stories to tell that seem to be too far fetched to have happened to anyone real or even like her in the first place. She gets short tempered with me when she needs to go have a smoky treat. She’s taken over the office with anything she can possibly get her hands on and then wonders why she’s stressed out and cranky! Sure, it’s good to stay busy, it’s even better to not piss off your counter part by being a cranky kiss ass too. She yelled at me once and then apologized to me about it. Oy-vey.So here’s to the interview on Monday and me getting a better grip on the money situation. YAY! =)

Tammolly ~ Just goin' with the flow

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Oh Boy~ Here We Go?

EEK! I thought the office was going to implode Wednesday. I mean, I was told the first day that they didn’t have screaming and yelling and other such nonsense going on there. All things are pleasant here, big smiles and stuff. Ok, I get to keep busy during the door and not have time to tap out a blog or two. Busy is good! It means the day goes faster. YAY! So Wednesday was a bit off and otherwise iffy when someone winds up in the office behind a closed door screeching. Oh shit! So we all got a 15 minute break and shoed out the door for a bit. Since then, things are going well. This is a good thing; otherwise I’d be asking my temp boss to get me the hell out there. That’s all I got to say about that.

Tammolly ~ Relieved

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

It’s A Brand New Day!

So I didn’t have time today to type up anything from work. The new job is pretty decent so far. I work with two other ladies, one of which is a temp, and the other a perma-employee who is transferring out to another office. So we’re getting another temp Wednesday. This means the current temp will have approximately 3 weeks seniority on me. That’s kinda funny actually. Other than that, I am so glad to be out of that other office and I truly hope that this one continues to go well. So nothing exciting, witty, or sarcastic today, just an FYI!

Tammolly ~ Who has to remind herself that when someone says Molly, it’s the perma-employee they’re talking to.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Moving Right Along… Move Along Now… Yes You! Move Along!

I’m free! I’m free! I’m free! I’m free! Yippee!!!!!!!!! I’m free!

No, I’m not excited at all about getting out of this particular office. I start a new campus gig on the other end of the world from here. It makes me giddy for a number of reasons here:

1. I can continue on with uninterrupted pay days.
2. I can pay next month’s bills!
3. I get to go shopping for other office clothes really soon.
4. Did I mention pay bills and shopping?!
5. I’m outta here!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today’s latest drama point is the coffee. Yes, THE coffee. Oh sacred bean of life and energy that brings forth the almighty beverage of daily morning joy. It has just come to my attention that we're out of the happy coffee with caffeine in it. I mentioned it to the officemate and she told me it wasn't her problem! Ok. Fine! Be that way, it's my last day. Technically not my problem either. I asked the former occupant of this job about it, and she passed it on to the boss to deal with it on Monday when the new person starts. He’s making a list. He’s checking it twice. He’s gonna turn it all in to HR with all the naughty not nice stuff she’s pulled since I’ve been here. (Ok so it doesn’t scan well to Santa Clause is Coming to Town.) I feel sorry for the new person coming on Monday. It’s going to hit her like a Mac Truck and I won’t be around to deal with it thankfully. See #5 in my list.

I have been told that the officemate has *always* been the purchaser of the coffee, as well as THE KEEPER OF THE COFFEE MONEY! She doesn't drink it, but she has always bought the coffee and made it when she gets here in the morning until the big blow up about a month ago. It's not the boss she's bothering by not making the coffee, it's the rest of the faculty that drinks it like water that it bothers. It’s all passive aggressive bullshit she’s pulling and she’s gonna get shit-canned even faster if she keeps it up. If she thinks she can annoy or inconvenience him somehow, I’ve seen her do it. Coffee being the classic example at the moment; I’m sure there’s something else I have not noticed.

Of course I can get the money and do it myself, but when I am going to have time to get more today? I’m not going on my lunch hour. I'm not here Monday, so I’m not going out tonight to buy more. Technically not my problem anymore, but I am a nice person and therefore have concerned myself with being considerate of the needs of others at the moment. I have already been making coffee this week in particular because I have been drinking it, otherwise the guys make it and it's a mess. Ick.

Meanwhile, my time here has been highly conducive to researching various masters degree programs within a reasonable driving distance. I have settled yet again on the MSW ~masters in social work for those who don’t know~ down at IUPUI ~Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis! I can dedicate the next 2 years of upcoming Saturdays for part-time degree pursuit and still work full-time. After that second year, it gets tricky with classes and practicum required during the weekdays. Looks like I can complete some of that in Lafayette as well, which will be nice. We’ll just see how that goes. Perhaps I’ll write some more later when I have not just been handed something to do.

Tammolly ~Feeling feisty today.


...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Son of a Beach?

So this Friday is my last day in this particular pit of Purdue. I have basically attempted to just keep my head down and avoid the flack and canon fodder known as the office mate and the boss snarking at each other periodically since day two on this particular assignment. At times I have decided the boss can be a little too abrupt, impatient, and make assumptions that aren’t correct; yet he’s made up his mind ~ there’s no reason for one to attempt an explanation. Simply put, he’s made up his mind, don’t bother with getting your side of the story and/or assumption he’s made already. I essentially sit here feeling like I have done or am doing something wrong whenever he gets flustered and walks away. This is especially so when he’s feeling like I am part of some conspiracy or “purposely” didn’t write a message as specifically as he would like. Well hell, get some friggen voice mail set up to your phone and take your own messages. No one wants to leave me a detailed message when they want to talk to him. Plain and simple, such is life and Friday couldn’t get here fast enough.

It gets better though. After I leave here, the office mate is still here, stuck in this job for a minimum of 6 months. The boss does want her out of here; he wants her gone due to the shenanigans of yore. Only the kicker is, because he filed a grievance, she can’t apply out of this office for 6 months due to some screwy Purdue HR policy. The boss wants the grievance to stick, so he’s not dropping it, yet he’s stuck with her because he won’t drop it so she can apply out of the office. HAH! HAH! I say HAH! What better way to stick yourself in the eye than be so stubborn that you can’t get what you want? It makes me giggle at the moment. Yet the boss’s comment about, let me see if I can paraphrase this one, “Despite some people thinking I am a son of a bitch, I am not the bad person you might think I am.” M’Kay, I never said he was, perhaps the office mate may think and feel that way, but I am genuinely trying to stay clear of this crap y’all have but me in the middle of; it’s really not appreciated actually.

Sadly the situation is just that, sad, two somewhat decent and nice people can’t get along. It’s tough on the rest of the faculty that happen to like the office mate and get along with her really well. Apparently there’s always been some kind of tension with this two and when he became acting department head, things just kinda boiled over without the veteran office assistant to buffer things. And people wonder why we’re at war in Iraq (or embroiled in disagreement with extremists and the like for that matter) when they can’t get along in their own friggen office?! ARRG!

You’d think I have PMS the way I am feeling right now. That was a few weeks ago and I didn’t feel nearly so cranky about this place at the time. I look forward to starting at a new location on campus simply because I am tired of the tension and the feeling of being caught in the middle. The rest of the faculty are pretty spiff and have good attitudes; did I mention they seem far more laid back than the boss? Conversations are much more relaxing and fun. Kudos to this department’s faculty!

Meanwhile I am counting down the minute and hours and days and moments to when I can get the hell out of here for the weekend and out of this particular office. I can hardly wait for that to happen. I hope the next office will be a bit more relaxed and less neurotic. I heard clerical is drama filled and a bit neurotic at Purdue, I sometimes think it’s the faculty that make the peons neurotic. REALLY! After three weeks here, I am beginning to believe that’s quite possibly true. Oh well. I need to make myself busy with something else now. Yeah right!

Tammolly ~ Master Thumb Twiddler

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

So We May Never Forget

~BEGIN RANT~

This whole weekend, at some point or another when the television has been in view at some point or another, I was either inundated with football or 9/11 documentaries. Football was kinda irksome, because I worried/wondered if I would get drunken phone calls in the wee hours of the a.m. The 9/11 documentaries were kinda worse than the actual day it happened. I remember not being able to look away from the television then, watching in awestruck horror. I remember the eerie sensation of not seeing planes in the night skies, not a single one, and if I did, I knew it was a military plane, because they weren’t grounded like the rest.

Needless to say, I was reminded of the ill feelings and the anger of what had happened 5 years ago this day. It doesn’t seem like 5 years ago, because by seeing the images and hearing all the documented phone calls people were making to loved ones as they died was a bit too much and all too painful a memory like it was fresh and happening again. Perhaps I should take a cynical view because maybe all these documentaries were put out to stir up these exact feelings so we forget to complain and feel pissy about our troops still being in Iraq.

What’s it all about? Can someone tell me this? Are we missing some fundamental reasoning that doesn’t allow us to understand that the extremists only feel that they are doing right in fighting the infidels? That some of these terrorists grew up in an environment being indoctrinated into this belief system is only one of the problems. Let’s see, send American troops to these places to get shot at while flooding their country with Western culture, goods, ideals, and the like. Let’s make the youth want our way of life and the stuff we have instead. Buzzzzzzzzzzz…. Nope, come on people! Wake up! We’re still infidels in their eyes. Actively funding Israel and perpetuating the violence in the Gaza does not and has not helped the situation. All the crap in Lebanon is merely a prelude to the ugliness that’s going to keep growing me thinks. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I’m not.

Something has to change. People need to wake up and look at the world for what it is and get their heads up out of their collective asses. I don’t claim to understand all the causes and effects of the situation, nor do I claim to have solutions. Although I’m sure someone has a better grasp of the problem and has a better solution than what’s happening right now, I don’t see anyone doing anything to fix it. Damnitall! Let’s do something and stop this nonsense!

~END RANT~

Anyhoo, other than feeling rantish, things are peachy! I’m finally getting a paycheck this week. I’m actually excited about paying bills. YAY! I can pay bills! I know that sounds strange, but the past 9 months of unemployment, rejections letters, stress, working at the restaurant that didn’t pay enough, and then finally landing this temp job, it’s a relief to be able to think about paying bills and not panic this month. I’m so relieved. It’ll also be nice to be able to do stuff without having to pester poor Adam for things like the smelly fabric softener he doesn’t like, getting my hair done, PARTY HAIR! YES! Red and blonde is back! Ok, it’ll be back once I get the bills paid up. I can buy clothes again and-and-and-and… It does boggle the mind to think about a budget again. YIPPEE!!

It’s now time to find a place to hide so I can eat my lunch in peace. Apparently the lunch room was reserved for today and tomorrow, so no microwave or quiet room, or a even a chair to sit in. Grrrrr. I will deal I guess. CIAO BABY!

Tammolly ~ Attempting to keep a sense of humor.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin